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Five years!
Mar. 12th, 2010 11:03 pmHubby and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary today. My inlaws took us out to dinner. When I spoke to my MIL earlier this afternoon, she asked if I wanted my parents to come along. I told her no.
My MIL had the misfortune to grow up with a mother who, according to hubby, was about a hundred times worse a person than the Maternal Unit could ever aspire to be. On the one hand, I wouldn't wish that kind of mother on my worst enemy. On the other hand, the fact that my MIL grew up with that, and hubby got to experience it firsthand as well, means that both of them understand where I'm coming from when I tell them I really don't want anything more to do with my side of the family.
My MIL opined that it was unfortunate "I felt like I had to cut off contact with both my parents". I corrected her immediately. It's not that I particularly want to cut off contact with Dad, or with my brother. But they've both made it clear, on multiple occasions over recent months, that it's a package deal. I can talk to Mom *and* Dad, which means my brother will also talk to me, or I can't talk to either parent, in which case my brother chooses to ally himself with them.
Dad actually called while we were out to dinner. I called him back and we talked for a few minutes. He asked me if I wanted to speak with the Maternal Unit. Rather than get into it again, I told him sure, that'd be fine. So then he tells me she's in the restroom, tells me to hang on...and then hangs up.
This is why hubby and I no longer include them in any kind of family celebration. "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy", and Dad's clearly more concerned with keeping the Maternal Unit happy than in having a relationship with me, his daughter, whom he's actually related to by blood. I know the Maternal Unit likes to console herself by thinking I'm the one who's "cutting off my nose to spite my face". But, as I've said before, if it's a choice between the "package deal" or nothing, I'll take hubby, the inlaws, and their extended family every day of the week, and twice on Sundays.
I'm forever grateful to have found a man who accepts me for who I am, and who understands why I don't talk to my parents anymore. Here's looking forward to growing old together.
*Clinks glass*
:-)
My MIL had the misfortune to grow up with a mother who, according to hubby, was about a hundred times worse a person than the Maternal Unit could ever aspire to be. On the one hand, I wouldn't wish that kind of mother on my worst enemy. On the other hand, the fact that my MIL grew up with that, and hubby got to experience it firsthand as well, means that both of them understand where I'm coming from when I tell them I really don't want anything more to do with my side of the family.
My MIL opined that it was unfortunate "I felt like I had to cut off contact with both my parents". I corrected her immediately. It's not that I particularly want to cut off contact with Dad, or with my brother. But they've both made it clear, on multiple occasions over recent months, that it's a package deal. I can talk to Mom *and* Dad, which means my brother will also talk to me, or I can't talk to either parent, in which case my brother chooses to ally himself with them.
Dad actually called while we were out to dinner. I called him back and we talked for a few minutes. He asked me if I wanted to speak with the Maternal Unit. Rather than get into it again, I told him sure, that'd be fine. So then he tells me she's in the restroom, tells me to hang on...and then hangs up.
This is why hubby and I no longer include them in any kind of family celebration. "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy", and Dad's clearly more concerned with keeping the Maternal Unit happy than in having a relationship with me, his daughter, whom he's actually related to by blood. I know the Maternal Unit likes to console herself by thinking I'm the one who's "cutting off my nose to spite my face". But, as I've said before, if it's a choice between the "package deal" or nothing, I'll take hubby, the inlaws, and their extended family every day of the week, and twice on Sundays.
I'm forever grateful to have found a man who accepts me for who I am, and who understands why I don't talk to my parents anymore. Here's looking forward to growing old together.
*Clinks glass*
:-)
