Well, the Paternal Unit just showed up

He dropped off a fairly small bag of xmas presents. I imagine that's probably designed to make us feel guilty about not showing up today or tomorrow. I can say that with confidence because, some years ago, I had a disagreement with Gram, during the holiday season. The Maternal Unit kept pleading with me to apologize to her. I kept refusing. She finally blurted out "But...but...if you don't, she'll take back all your xmas presents! And you won't get anything!" And she couldn't figure out why I thought that was so funny.

Dad then started in on "Your mom's heart is broken, she loves you dearly, blah blah blah."

"No, she doesn't."

*Confused look*. "Well, do you love her?"

"No."

It's only taken him 37 years to figure that out...